Funny Interview

One young man went for an IAS Interview.

"When did India get independence?" He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.

"Who was responsible for our independence?"
"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.

"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.

When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.

HRD Notice of a Company to Employees

Dear STAFF,

Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

1) TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

A) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
B) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
C) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

2) ANNUAL LEAVE:
Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! Said 1 employee).
- They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs.

3) LUNCH BREAK:
A) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
B) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
C) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

Men & Women

MEN:

1. Most men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

WOMEN:

1. The most important thing for most women is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Marriage Proposal by Software Professional

Dear Ms. ________,

Baby, I ‘v seen you yesterday while surfing on local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For long time, I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.
My life is just an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless. You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful, which encourages me and gives power to me equal to thousands of mainframes processing power. When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules were running smoothly and giving expected results. /* Which I never experienced before */.

Top 10 Most Stupid Questions

Top 10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations

1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...

2. In the bus:A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter..

Career Song - The 8 stages

1. When in college:
Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaam iyaab ek din.....

2. When giving interview to Multi National Company:
Tu hi re.. Too hi re ....tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn....

3. Waiting for interview result:
Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki... Aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki....

4. Just joined:
Too cheez badi hai mast mast.....

5. After some time:
Ye kahaan aa gaye hum??

6. After some more time: