Funny Valentine Quotes

• 'I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.' 

• 'Women are cursed, and men are the proof.' 

• 'Women with pasts interest men... they hope history will repeat itself.'  

• 'Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.' 

• 'My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.'

• 'The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.' 

Amazing one Liners

1. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
2. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
3. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didnt he just buy dinner?
4. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables then what is baby oil made from?
5. If electricity comes from electrons, what does morality come from?
6 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Love Marriage VS Arrange Marriage

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Top 10 Difference Between Men And Women

The Difference Between Men And Women..?

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage.

The Corporate Language

'We will do it'
means
'You will do it'


'You have done a great job'
means
'More work to be given to you'


'We are working on it'
means
'We have not yet started working on the same'


'Tomorrow, first thing in the morning'
means
'Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !'.

The Difference If You Marry A Glasgow Girl

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....

The first man married a Filipino.  He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.
It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.  The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better.
By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done,and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Glasgow.

Austrian Joke

An Austrian and travels through Graz with a young chimpanzee. He wants
he wants to go to  a bakery.

He can't bring the animal into the shop, he asks a young German woman
in front of the shop if she would watch the ape while he shops.

She's very happy to do that  and plays with the chimp.

An elderly lady passes by  and asks the young woman. "From whom do you
have the ape?"