Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women

1. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

2. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you are on the road.

3. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let
you try it out a few times.

4. Your primary gun does not mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

5. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

Only Nice Contact Agreement

I dont know it is true or not. Actually i got it in my Email and i am just going it to share it with you all.

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 96 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to Pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have Elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of The funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only Eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of Opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for The inconvenience caused to your bank.

Husband Wife Funny Talking

Husband: Aaj khane me kya banaogi?
Wife: Jo aap kaho

H: Dal chawal bana lo
W: Abhi kal hi to khaye the

H: to sabji roti bana lo
W: bacche nahi khayenge

H: to chhole puri bana lo
W: mujhe heavy heavy lagta hai

H: eggs bhurji bana lo
W: aaj guruvaar hai

Why I Am Married

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

__________
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
__________
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

10 Signs You Really Are Old

1. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
2. Turn off the lights for economical reasons, not romantic ones.
3. You read the obituaries to find eligible women.
4. Old ladies offer to help you cross the street.
5. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
6. The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
7. A beautiful girl walks by and nothing happens.
8. You have all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions.
9. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
10. All the names in your little black book end with MD (mentally deficient).

Funny Interview

One young man went for an IAS Interview.

"When did India get independence?" He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.

"Who was responsible for our independence?"
"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.

"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.

When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.

HRD Notice of a Company to Employees

Dear STAFF,

Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

1) TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

A) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
B) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
C) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

2) ANNUAL LEAVE:
Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! Said 1 employee).
- They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs.

3) LUNCH BREAK:
A) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
B) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
C) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.